warnings - SE Members Blog post - syndication express2024-03-28T16:37:39Zhttps://syndicationexpress.ning.com/profiles/blogs/feed/tag/warningsThanks A Lot To All My Friends that sent me warnings (Visit Website)https://syndicationexpress.ning.com/profiles/blogs/thanks-a-lot-to-all-my-friends-that-sent-me-warnings-visit-websit2014-01-31T05:30:00.000Z2014-01-31T05:30:00.000ZJack McLaughlin (JMAC)https://syndicationexpress.ning.com/members/JackMcLaughlinJMAC<div><p><font size="3"><strong><span id="CPHmain_blogreaderall_blogtitle">"THANKS A LOT" TO ALL MY FRIENDS THAT SENT ME WARNINGS</span></strong></font><br /><br /><br /><img src="http://www.ibosocial.com/images/linkarrow.gif" alt="linkarrow.gif" /> <a href="http://www.your-daily-income.com/wordpress">VISIT WEBSITE</a> <font size="1">(learn more)</font><br /><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:18px;"><font color="#008000"><b><i><span style="font-size:18px;">As we progress into 2014, I want</span></i></b></font> <font color="#008000"><b><i><span style="font-size:18px;">to thank you, one and all, for your educational e-mails over the past year. I</span></i></b></font> <font color="#008000"><b><i><span style="font-size:18px;">am totally messed up now and have little chance of recovery.</span></i></b></font></span><br /><b><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Calibri;"><br /></span></b> <b><span><span style="font-size:18px;"><span style="font-size:18px;"><span style="font-size:18px;"><span style="font-size:18px;"><span style="font-size:18px;"><span style="font-size:18px;"><font color="#008000">I can no longer open a bathroom door</font></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></b> <span style="font-size:14pt;font-family:Verdana;">without using a paper towel, nor let the waitress put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying</span> <span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Verdana;">about the bacteria on the lemon peel.</span></p><p> </p><p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-size:14pt;font-family:Verdana;"><span style="font-size:18px;"><font color="#008000">I can't sit down on a hotel bedspread</font></span></span></b> <span>because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.</span><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><br /></span></b> <b><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Verdana;"><br /><br /></span></b> <span style="font-size:18px;"><font color="#008000"><b><span style="font-size:18px;">I have trouble shaking hands with</span></b></font></span> <span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Verdana;">someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking one's nose.</span><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><br /></span></b> <font color="#008000"><b><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Verdana;"><br /><br /></span></b> <span style="font-size:18px;"><span style="font-size:18px;"><span style="font-size:18px;"><b><span style="font-size:18px;">Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because</span></b></span></span></span></font> <span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Verdana;">I can only imagine how many gallons of Trans fats I have consumed over the years.</span><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><br /><br /></span></b> <b><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Verdana;"><br /></span></b> <span style="font-size:18px;"><span style="font-size:18px;"><span style="font-size:18px;"><font color="#008000"><b><span style="font-size:18px;">I can't touch any woman's handbag for</span></b></font></span></span></span> <span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Verdana;">fear she has placed it on the floor of a public restroom.</span><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><br /></span></b> <b><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Verdana;"><br /><br /></span></b> <span style="font-size:18px;"><span style="font-size:18px;"><span style="font-size:18px;"><span style="font-size:18px;"><font color="#008000"><b><span style="font-size:18px;">I must send my special thanks for</span></b></font></span></span></span></span> <span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Verdana;">the email about rat poo in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.</span><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><br /><br /></span></b> <b><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Verdana;"><br /><span style="font-size:18px;"><span style="font-size:18px;"><span style="font-size:18px;"><span style="font-size:18px;"><span style="font-size:18px;"><font color="#008000">Also,</font></span></span></span></span></span></span></b> <span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Verdana;">now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.</span><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><br /><br /></span></b> <b><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Verdana;"><br /></span></b> <span style="font-size:18px;"><span style="font-size:18px;"><font color="#008000"><b><span style="font-size:18px;">I can't have a drink in a bar</span></b></font></span></span> <span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Verdana;">because I fear I'll wake up in a bathtub full of ice with my kidneys gone.</span><b><span><br /></span></b> <b><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Verdana;"><br /><br /></span></b> <span style="font-size:18px;"><font color="#008000"><b><span style="font-size:18px;">I can't eat at KFC because</span></b></font></span> <span>their chickens are actually horrible mutants with no eyes, feet or feathers.<b><br /></b></span> <span style="font-family:Verdana;"><br /><br /></span> <b><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Verdana;"><span style="font-size:18px;"><span style="font-size:18px;"><font color="#008000">Thanks to you,</font></span></span></span></b> <span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Verdana;">I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.</span><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><br /><br /></span></b> <b><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Verdana;"><span style="font-size:18px;"><br /><span style="font-size:18px;"><font color="#008000">Because of your concern,</font></span></span></span></b> <span>I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet bowl stains.</span><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><br /><br /></span></b> <b><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Verdana;"><span style="font-size:20px;"><br /><span style="font-size:18px;"><font color="#008000">I no longer buy</font></span></span></span></b> <span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Verdana;">fuel without taking someone along to watch the car, so a serial killer doesn't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up.</span><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><br /><br /></span></b> <b><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Verdana;"><br /><span style="font-size:18px;"><span style="font-size:18px;"><font color="#008000">I no longer use Cling Wrap</font></span></span></span></b> <span>in the microwave because it causes seven different types of cancer.</span><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><br /><br /></span></b> <b><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Verdana;"><br /><span style="font-size:18px;"><span style="font-size:18px;"><font color="#008000">And thanks for letting me know</font></span></span></span></b> <span>I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face, disfiguring me for life.</span><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><br /></span></b> <b><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Verdana;"><br /><br /><span style="font-size:18px;"><span style="font-size:18px;"><font color="#008000">I no longer go to the cinema</font></span></span></span></b> <span>because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS when I sit down.</span><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><br /></span></b> <b><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Verdana;"><br /><br /></span> <span style="font-size:18px;color:#008000;">I no longer go to shopping centers because</span></b> <span>someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:18px;"><span style="color:#2e8b57;"><span style="font-size:18px;"><b>And I</b></span></span></span> <span style="font-size:14pt;font-family:Verdana;"><b><span style="font-size:18px;color:#008000;">no longer answer the phone because</span></b> someone will ask me</span> <span>to dial a number for which I will get a huge phone bill with calls<br />to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Verdana;"><span style="font-size:18px;color:#008000;">Thanks to you,</span></span></b> <span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Verdana;">I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big black snake could be lurking under the seat and cause me instant death when it bites my rear.</span><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><br /><br /></span></b> <b><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Verdana;"><br /><span style="font-size:18px;color:#008000;">And thanks to your great advice,</span></span></b> <span>I can't ever pick up a </span><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Verdana;">coin dropped in the car park because a molester waiting to grab me as I bend over probably placed it there.</span><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><br /></span></b> <b><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Verdana;"><br /><span style="font-size:18px;"><br /><span style="color:#008000;font-size:18px;">I can't do any gardening</span></span></span></b> <span>because I'm afraid I'll get bitten by the violin Spider and my hand will fall off.</span><b><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><br /><br /></span></b> <b><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Verdana;"><br /><span style="color:#0000ff;font-style:italic;">If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon, and the fleas from 120 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually<br />happened to a friend of my next-door neighbor’s ex mother-in-law's second husband’s cousin’s best friend's beautician!</span></span></b></p><p> </p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#ff0000;"><b><span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Verdana;">Oh, and by the way...</span></b></span><br /><b><span>A German scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late. :)<br /><br /></span></b></p><p style="text-align:center;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p align="center"><object width="320" height="240" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data="http://affiliates.livedrive.com/accounts/default1/banners/MPU_Pro_Free%5B1%5D.swf?clickTAG=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.livedrive.com%2FSignupToLivedrive%3Fproduct%3Dpro%26a_aid%3D52e4542620b20%26a_bid%3Dea49b988" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="never" ></param><param name="allowNetworking" value="internal" ></param><param name="wmode" value="opaque" ></param><param name="movie" value="http://affiliates.livedrive.com/accounts/default1/banners/MPU_Pro_Free%5B1%5D.swf?clickTAG=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.livedrive.com%2FSignupToLivedrive%3Fproduct%3Dpro%26a_aid%3D52e4542620b20%26a_bid%3Dea49b988" ></param><embed wmode="opaque" width="320" height="240" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="http://affiliates.livedrive.com/accounts/default1/banners/MPU_Pro_Free%5B1%5D.swf?clickTAG=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.livedrive.com%2FSignupToLivedrive%3Fproduct%3Dpro%26a_aid%3D52e4542620b20%26a_bid%3Dea49b988" allowscriptaccess="never" allownetworking="internal"></embed> <br /></object></p><p align="center">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br /><big>~Like or Share if you enjoyed this post~</big></p><p><span style="color:#0000ff;font-weight:bold;font-size:14px;"><span style="color:#0000ff;font-weight:bold;font-size:14px;"><span style="color:#800080;font-size:16px;font-weight:bold;"> </span></span></span></p><p align="center"><span style="color:#4682b4;"><strong>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</strong></span></p><div><p align="center"><big>Regards and Blessings to you,</big><br /><br /><span style="font-size:16px;"><big>Jack McLaughlin</big></span> <span style="font-weight:bold;">(JMAC)</span></p><p><span style="font-size:16px;"><br /><span style="color:#800080;font-size:16px;font-weight:bold;"><span style="color:#4682b4;"><br /><br /></span></span></span></p><p align="center"><a href="http://www.your-daily-income.com"><img src="http://www.Your-Daily-Income.com/images/ydi%20banner250x250.png" alt="ydi banner250x250.png (115478 bytes)" border="0" width="247" height="246" /></a></p><p><span style="font-size:16px;"><span style="color:#800080;font-size:16px;font-weight:bold;"><span style="color:#4682b4;"> </span></span></span></p></div><p style="font-size:16px;" align="center"><span style="color:#4682b4;"><strong><span style="font-size:16px;font-weight:bold;">~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span></strong></span></p><p align="center">Follow Me:</p><dl><dd><p align="center"><big><font face="Verdana"><span style="font-size:16px;"><span style="font-size:16px;"><a href="http://www.facebook.com/YourDailyIncome"><img alt="Facebook.png (2174 bytes)" src="http://www.your-daily-income.com/images/Facebook.png" border="0" width="37" height="37" /></a><a href="https://plus.google.com/101676442129130661667"><img alt="GooglePlus.png (2606 bytes)" src="http://www.your-daily-income.com/images/GooglePlus.png" border="0" width="37" height="37" /></a><a href="http://www.linkedin.com/pub/jack-mclaughlin/2a/685/404"><img alt="LinkedIn.png (2444 bytes)" src="http://www.your-daily-income.com/images/LinkedIn.png" border="0" width="37" height="37" /></a><a href="https://myspace.com/yourdailyincome"><img alt="MySpace.png (2658 bytes)" src="http://www.your-daily-income.com/images/MySpace.png" width="37" height="37" /></a><a href="http://www.pinterest.com/pinterestjmac/"><img alt="Pinterest.png (1952 bytes)" src="http://www.your-daily-income.com/images/Pinterest.png" border="0" width="37" height="37" /></a></span></span></font></big></p></dd></dl><p align="center"><span style="color:#4682b4;"><strong>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</strong></span></p></div>