I'm in the stage of life where I want people to believe in me. They don't need to inflate who I am. But if I claim that I will do "x," then give me the opportunity to prove me right. ^^
So, it kind of happened this morning. I was telling my stepson that if he used more words that his social situations would be more positive and less full of stress. I was telling him that he didn't have to talk perfectly, but that to leave out the words is like trying to solve a puzzle with half the clues. We are bad mind readers.
Well this morning, he finally answered me! And I acknowledged the shift and I praised him. I noticed how calm we BOTH were. Go figure! I feel like we've wasted so much time with this nonverbal dance that just drives most people crazy.
He was also complaining in the car that it was hot. I assured him I was doing the best I could to cool things down and that I also felt it. I managed to get out of him that what bothered him the most was having his face feel hot. Though I couldn't do much about it, he felt better communicating that to me.
I've also been more intentional about voicing my assumption of good intentions when talking to my kids... like "I know you were protecting the baby, is there something else you could have done?" I'm trying to instill problem solving skills by having the kids come up with more than one solution and using their critical thinking to make a choice.
It's all skills building. It won't change over night. But each small step is just as important and is confidence building. Every time my kids solve problems on their own I give them lots of praise. If they say things that interest others, I praise their social skill.
Anyhow... all of those parenting things I pleaded my kids to just take my word for... they have started and I have been proven right! =) Maybe they'll have more faith in me in the future. Maybe.
Comments
Thank you, Terri. I'm hard headed but I mean well. I am just blessed that God has given me some lessons that didn't hurt as much. I'm a better person for being a mother and growing through the experience. Blessings to you~
Thank you Susan. I'm sure you have a lot of parenting tips that I could benefit from as well. =) Just tickled that I'd get these pocket experiences. I'm just glad I knew it was happening. Blessings to you~
Meredith,
This is a fantastic post! I love this and it's great that you are teaching them problem solving. I think a lot of times we as parents try and solve things for our children or teach them only one way and expect them to take on a world with crazy quilt problems. These problems can't be solved with the pat because I say so attitude that I know I was raised with, exceptional post.
Thank you,
Susan
Well alright for critical thinking. It seems like you are on the right track. I know you are pleased about this and you have good reason to be. keep up the great parenting Meredith. Shared via Syndication Automation.