Vivid Views is my series of articles, blog posts and press releases show-casing my work as an author and reflecting my many years in business and self-employment. They are a blend of my real life experiences, professional insights, personal views and fun stories.
My hope is that in them you find enlightenment and inspiration. 'The Art Of Detach And Dream' is the 10th in the series.
If you plan to do well in life or business then you will need to be bold and take risks. There is no other way. Without adventure there can be no achievement. But, as well as attacking life with courage and drive, you need to have a defensive strategy to fall back on too; established practices to steer you through the tough times when all is not going your way.
I learned my most effective defense from a very early age. I was quite unaware at the time of what I was doing, it just came to me and evolved naturally. But by my teen years and in later life I was fully aware of the tactic, and consciously developed, fine tuned and practiced it. I call it - the art of detach and dream.
Like most children I didn't care much for punishment. So, when I found myself on the receiving end of a (usually well earned) beating from an angry parent or teacher, I would shut out the discomfort through sheer will power. This involved telling myself that I wasn't feeling any pain and repeating it to myself continuously until I genuinely didn't feel it. I just numbed myself out completely. In fact, I came to feel nothing.
Not only did I shut out the pain, I mentally removed myself from the punishment altogether. I pretended that it was being inflicted, not on me, but on some other poor sod, someone I disliked; and that I was somewhere else entirely and enjoying a very nice time. This most often meant that I was playing football with my friends, frolicking in the sunshine, having fun, eating sweets or chasing girls. It didn't matter, just as long as I was not 'there' receiving the beating. Such was the success of my detach and dream strategy that it almost made being punished worthwhile. I did say almost.
So to adulthood, life and business. There comes inevitably times when things don't go as planned and events can arise which put you in places or situations where you'd rather not be. The deaths of loved ones happens to us all. Who has not sat through a funeral service and not wished that they were elsewhere, perhaps with the deceased friend or relative and enjoying pleasant times? This is a classic moment for detach and dream. Or have you been confronted by an angry boss or relative, berating you for a perceived failure on your part which compelled you to hear through their angry rant? Or have you fallen foul of officialdom in some way and been summoned to appear for a dressing down?
Instances such as these, and the million more times when you simply feel things getting on top of you, arise in life and place you in positions of discomfort, pain, mental anguish or unpleasantness. Somewhere that you have to be but that you'd rather not. It's in these times that you can cope by being there but by not being there; detaching yourself from the reality of the situation and 'visiting' somewhere more appealing and 'doing' something altogether more enjoyable. It's kind of pausing your world for a bit, an opportunity to step back and refresh, a 'virtual short break' if you like.
Adopting this mindset puts you, rather than the situation or the other party, in control. It eliminates stress. It's a manifestation on your part of mental strength, resilience and being prepared. The latter, preparation, is after all the key to being one jump ahead in all situations. And even when approaching life as the adventure it should be, there is strength in having an imaginative defensive strategy to fall back on. Especially one which can take you to so many fabulous places!
I am Tom Riach. I live and write in the sunny south of Portugal.
My latest novel is 'Too Early For A Glass Of Wine?' Claim your copy by clicking on the image below.
THE ART OF DETACH AND DREAM is an original copyright Tom Riach feature.
I hope you enjoyed this Vivid View and found it to be of value.
To learn more please visit me on my Author Page.
See you there! Regards, Tom.