This morning my wife and I were relaxing and planning for our Valentine Date Night tomorrow . As we talked, laughed and planned, it occurred to me that we are learning to appreciate, respect and love each other more deeply. We are learning to recognize and speak what Dr. Gary Chapman, a Christian counselor and author of The Five Love Language, identified as "the love language " of each other.
Dr. Chapman notes that when we discover and communicate with our spouse in his/her love language, we fill up their emotional tank. This leads to mutual respect and a meaningful love relationship. Dr. Chapman has identified five emotional love languages. Here is a sampling:
1. Words of Affirmation - This is when we compliment our spouse on his/her looks, activity or achievement . These words edifying our mate and build self-image, worth and confidence.
2. Quality Time - Some spouses may not need words of affirmation; but see love displayed by spending time together and doing things together with undivided attention. (Secret: This is my wife's main language)
3. Gifts - Gary notes that gift giving is a universal in all human cultures and need not be expensive or elaborate to send a powerful message of love ,For some spouses gifts is their chief love language. When we forget and miss important gift giving opportunities such as birthday, anniversary, or graduation, such a spouse feel neglected, unappreciated and unloved.
Find out the other two here.
It is essential that each of us determine our own love language as well as our spouse. Of course, speaking another person's language is not always easy. Dr Chapman notes, "We're not talking comfort. We are talking love. Love is something we do for someone else. So often couples love one another but they aren 't connecting. They are sincere, but sincerity isn't enough." It requires commitment, sacrifice and hard work.
When spouses fail to connect and speak each others love language, the love tank gets empty. Hence, Dr. Chapman suggests that every couple have a "love tank check " three times each week, asking one another, "How is your love tank tonight?" If the tank is low find out how you can fill it and fill it!! Speak the appropriate love language. It could save your home, family and business!
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Comments
Thanks Angela! My wife and I are working on building our relationship... It is an ongoing process.
Great article Stephen. So true what Dr Chapman notes. It's also inspiring to hear that you and your wife planned your big day together. Thanks for sharing. Liked and Shared.